


Insufferable

by comicalslayings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Space, F/M, Secret Santa, Space Pirates AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comicalslayings/pseuds/comicalslayings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tumblr Secret Santa for kattobingrunge<br/>This was actually really fun! I don't ship it (well I might have to start now), and also this was my first SNK fanfic. I hope you enjoy...<br/>(here is a link to the one they wrote for me http://kattobingrunge.tumblr.com/post/70997989473/heres-comicalslayings-gift-for-secret-santa-all)</p></blockquote>





	Insufferable

Captain Levi stood on the bridge of his ship, staring out the observation window. Stars distantly dotted the black sky, almost faded by the light of the star ship. However, the captain was not focused on the spots, but on the cargo floating before him.

It had been stolen from a small ship passing through the Ionian Subsystem. Truly, it was the other ship’s fault; any careful captain would know that the Ionian Subsystem and the surrounding subsystems belonged to Captain Levi and the Black Brigadier. Only a fool would enter without an armada to back them up.

But fools are what paid the crew, and there never seemed to be a shortage of them. 

It had been easy to shoot open the cargo hold and watch the missiles and resources float out. Levi wasn’t one to kill for entertainment, and the ship was allowed to escape. Now, the loose cargo was being collected by the Brigader’s crew, which should have gone quickly. 

Levi sighed and adjusted his cravat. He reached down and pressed a small button. Clearing his throat, he called out, “Hanji Zoe, don’t let that rock hit my window.”

One of the figures jumped and turned to face the ship. Their black suit wasn’t very restricting on motion, and they gave an enthusiastic wave, then gestured to a especially large piece of white rock.

Levi licked his lips and glanced to the side. How Molbit constantly stood by that woman’s side, he would never understand. It was a miracle. Levi had often wanted to let her loose into the void and take off. A little voice (whose name was Petra) would then have to often remind him that Hanji was a valuable asset and knew more about astronomy than anyone else and it would be a terrible loss to let her go.

Levi pushed on the button again. “Run experiments later. The explosions could attract attention. Get it in and leave.”

Hanji’s figure twisted around again, and she kicked the rock she was examining. She had given the captain an excuse about how it was easier to test the cargo before it was collected. He didn’t buy it, but that didn’t matter. The scientist had gotten her way, and the short captain’s sour face was amusing.

Which was probably a good thing since it was his regular expression. 

Hanji didn’t mind. The captain never won; anything he did to discourage her just spurred on her antics.

“Levi!” Hanji called back over the intercom. She could see, just barely, the captain turn and look back at her. “You know we need to test any potential threats before bringing the cargo aboard. You wouldn’t want to risk it, would you, Captaaaaain?” It was true, thought Hanji was taking much longer that she should. It was just too exciting.

This cargo had come from a recently discovered planet, so recently it didn’t even have a name. The white rocks were unlike any that had been found before. That was why Hanji was so insistent on plundering the small cargo ship.

“Levi…” Hanji had a direct line to the captain through his ear piece. He would only use the ship wide intercom when he really wanted her to do something.

“What?”

Hanji looked back at the bridge, smiling wickedly. “Would you like a pet rock, Levi?” A scratching noise came over the intercom and she could make out Levi grabbing his left ear and throwing something on the ground.

“Party pooper,” Hanji muttered, now by herself. Most of the missiles and other materials had been collected, and all that was left was these white rocks. Molbit was by the hold’s doors, directing the loading since Hanji was preoccupied. She turned back to the white rock in front of her and gave it another kick.

Levi worried too much. Hanji should take it as a compliment; he seemed to care for her. She glanced back at the bridge where the captain was now focusing on something near the back of the control panel. 

Hanji sighed, a dejected sound that would have rivaled Levi’s exasperated sighs. Too bad he couldn’t hear it. She clenched her fist and the jet pack on her suit propelled her a ways out from the ship. The largest rock was the farthest away, and Hanji wanted to get to it. Another clench of her fist and Hanji was propelled right next to it. 

“What have we here? What are you? I bet you are more special than the others, otherwise you wouldn’t be the biggest.” Hanji reached out and touched the side. The larger rock was smoother than the smaller ones. “Now why is that? What makes you so special? I bet—“

“Hanji…” Levi’s voice came in over the intercom.

Hanji spun herself around. “Oh, hello captain! Nice of you to join the party again!”

“Get back to the ship.”

Hanji frowned. “I am not done yet.”

“Hanji. Now.”

“Too boring. My new friend and I need some bonding time.”

Levi stared out at the floating scientist. “That was an order, Hanji Zoe,” he spoke through the intercom.

“I’ll be in when I want to come in.”

Levi turned back to the radar, the red bleeps approaching on the starboard side. “You’re going to get eaten.”

A squeal came over the intercom, causing Levi to grimace. Hanji would probably gladly get eaten, all in the name of science.

“Titans! Are there titans nearby?”

“A pod off of starboard. They—“ Levi couldn’t finish before Hanji was propelling herself to the side of the ship. Levi went to the front of the control board and pushed the intercom button. “Hanji Zoe, come back to port and get on the ship.”

“Nope.”

“Now.”

“No.”

“Augh, Hanji…”

“Titans or ship?”

“Ship. Now.”

The intercom went silent for a few seconds before Hanji’s voice came ringing through. “For a kiss.”

Levi looked up blankly to the observatory window, where Hanji could be seen soaring towards starboard. He took his finger off the intercom button and pushed it to his ear.

“Get in here.”

“Hmmm…not sure if you will deliver.”

Levi placed his hands carefully on the control board. One day Hanji was going to get him or herself killed from stupidity, and Levi didn’t plan on dying like a fool. 

“Come out here, Levi.”

“We’re in space.”

“Captain! The pod is one kilometer off of starboard, and approaching quickly!” Petra shouted from her position next to the radar.

Levi turned on his heel and strode away from the control board. He pressed his finger to his ear and whispered, “If you die today, I will count it a gain.” Then he ripped the earpiece out and handed it to a person standing next to him. 

Since the ship couldn’t fly away from the titans now, the crew would have to fight. A small pod shouldn’t be too hard to kill. “Petra! Auruo! Gunther and Eld!” The four crew members left their position and immediately followed Levi. They were the elite, and Levi knew that the five of them could easily decimate the pod. Hanji wouldn’t provide much help, but that wasn’t unusual. 

The small squad ran across the bridge. They were used to responding quickly to titan attacks, and this wasn’t the first time they had had to rescue the scientist. 

As the five reached the supply room, the immediately started grabbing their gear and putting it on. All got their suits on and began pulling their boots on. No one spoke, they didn’t need to. This preparation was custom. 

The supply crew each had a helmet ready for the squad. As they were clicked into place, Levi spoke. “Follow me. We will go directly into the center of the pod and attack from the inside.”

“Yes, captain,” fours voices came over the intercom in Levi’s helmet. 

He turned to the supply crew. “Program Hanji’s and Molbit’s intercoms with ours.” The shortest crew member nodded and ran to the intercom control panel at the other side of the supply room. 

All squad members were handed their lasers. Shooting at titans didn’t do anything, except maybe slow them down. A small chunk at the back of their neck had to be cut out in order to kill them. The lasers could cut from far away, but they were hard to control from a distance. They were small, with two beams that opened at a slight angle. The handler had to be careful. A mistake could cut a person in half.

“Test,” the supply crew leader called out. Levi and his squad aimed their lasers at the testing wall and turned them on. After a few second they turned them off and attached them to the hooks on the sides of the suits. All together, the squad clenched their fists and their jet packs activated, propelling them into the air. The gentlest squeeze would activate it, and jet pack flying was a skill that took years to master.

“Clear!” The squad landed themselves, with Levi immediately turning off his pack and dropping to the ground. He looked to both sides at his squad before striding to the hatch door at the end of the supply room. A supply crew member wrenched it open and the five went into the air lock. 

“Kill them quickly, before we run out of air. Make sure Hanji doesn’t get eaten.” The door sealed behind them. The squad readied themselves as the gravity slowly dropped and they floated upwards. The airlock door lifted up and the squad propelled out of the ship.

“Molbit, Hanji, can you hear me?” Eld spoke through the intercom. The squad couldn’t see either person, but according to the last known placement of them, Hanji was on the starboard side and Molbit was on port. 

“Eld? Captain? What did Hanji do?” Molbit’s voice rang over the intercom.

Levi grit his teeth and squeezed his hand harder, propelling him forward. The squad kept up. 

“Come out for that kiss, Captain?” Hanji was heard in everyone’s helmets. 

“Shut up, Hanji,” Levi said.

“There is a titan pod approaching starboard. Hanji flew off to see them. Get the cargo hold closed and contain her,” Eld rattled off the plan as the squad curved through space. 

Hanji’s figure came into view. She was staying still, not getting any closer to the titans. Petra called out to her, “Hanji! We need to get back into the ship now!”

Hanji turned and faced the approaching squad. “Do we have a deal, Captain?”

Levi refused to answer her and instead adjusted his line of flight to run directly into her. When he got close enough, Levi reached out and grabbed her helmet, shaking roughly. “You’re valuable and should probably be kept alive. Get in the ship.”

Hanji frowned, crinkling her eyebrows. “But titans!”

Levi pushed her behind him and motioned for his squad to follow him. Hanji did as well, grabbing her laser from where it was attached to her suit.

Ten, fifteen…twenty seven, no, twenty eight titans were in the pod, about thirty meters from the ship. The squad plus Hanji streamlined their formation and flew directly to the center. The titans all slowly turned themselves to face the humans now in their midst. The squad readied themselves for Levi’s signal.

“Ooooooo! Can we catch one, Levi?”

“No.”

“Awww, please?”

“No.”

“But how are we supposed to have any fun?”

An audible sigh came over the intercom. “Let them get close enough, then take the biggest ones out first,” Levi commanded.

“And then catch a smaller one!” Hanji interjected.

Levi ignored her and readied his laser, pointing it downward. The titans came closer, so close the squad could feel their heat. Hanji was squirming next to him. 

“Kill them or get out of the way,” he said.

Hanji turned to look at the captain, but he was already propelling himself towards the largest titan. Shooting upwards, Levi twisted around and lasered out the back of the titan’s neck. It let out a groan and stopped moving. Around him, the other squad members were slicing out the necks of the other titans. 

Hanji was trying to sneak behind a smaller titan, completely oblivious to the much larger one behind her. Levi carefully aimed his laser and killed both of them, making Hanji turn to look at him.

“You are just a tiny, angry man. How could you kill such beautiful creatures so mercilessly?”

Levi propelled himself farther away, twisting around to aim at a titan’s neck. Auruo called for help, and Petra answered his call. Hanji continued to hurl insults at Levi, which elicited laughter from Gunther. 

Molbit was on the outskirts of the pod, helping kill. This small of a pod wasn’t much trouble to destroy, and the seasoned squad did it in no time. Hanji was sniffling by the end of it. The titans were all dissolving into the void and the squad left them behind.

“I don’t see why they all had to die,” she said as the seven flew back to the Brigadier.

“Hanji, they are titans, extremely dangerous… You can’t just leave them be, especially with you out here…” Molbit tried to consol her.

Levi swallowed and ignored them for the flight back.

*  
Standard medical procedures, though Levi was currently regretting setting them. Any one involved in a titan fight had to be checked out to insure that nothing had happened, no matter how minute. 

Being the science freak, Hanji was also part of the medical crew, though usually just a stand in, which she was doing right now. Levi leaned against the bed, refusing to sit on it, as his feet didn’t reach the ground.

“I should have left you to the titans.” Levi tensed up as Hanji poked him in the back. 

“Why, Captain…you do care!” 

Levi gritted his teeth and looked up at Hanji standing over him. 

She smiled wickedly. “Captain, I need you to take off your shirt so I can complete the examination.”

Levi could have smacked her across the room. The things she would claim in the name of science. Slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt and placed it on the bed. He was utterly fed up with Hanji’s antics. 

Hanji leaned down and put her ear against his chest. Her hair brushed against his skin, irritating him. “Heart beat sounds normal, Captain!”

Levi glared at the woman. She smiled and looked behind him. Her cold hands ran down his back, and Levi exhaled quickly. “You aren’t a doctor. Go get someone adequate.”

Hanji joyfully smiled at Levi before poking him in the side. “Oh, Levi…just let me finish.”

“No.”

“Levi…”

“Now.”

Hanji stepped back and folded her arms, looking down her nose at the captain. “Fine. I’ll go get someone.” She leaned down to look him right in the eyes. “For a kiss,” she whispered.

The captain jutted his chin out and glanced down at her. He carefully reached up and grabbed the collar of her shirt, pulling her a few inches from his face. “Fine.” 

Hanji gasped for air as Levi pulled her closer, forcefully kissing her. She squirmed about for a few seconds before relaxing into it and placing one hand on Levi’s shoulder and the other on the bed behind him. 

Levi wound his other hand into Hanji’s hair, not even thinking about washing to wash up later. He pulled her closer until there was barely any room between them. Hanji’s weight was pushing him back, so she was practically lying on top of him. 

The red head started kissing back after her initial shock. Levi didn’t let go, even as shivers ran up and down her spine. Never, in a million light years, had she expected that.

Hanji stepped back as Levi broke away. She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. “You’re insufferable,” Levi told her as he stood and started dressing. 

“But I think you find me adequate.” A blushing Hanji shook her finger at the captain. 

Levi glanced at her, a smile playing around her lips. “If you weren’t, I would have left you to be titan food.” He strode out of the examination room, leaving Hanji to squeal to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Secret Santa for kattobingrunge  
> This was actually really fun! I don't ship it (well I might have to start now), and also this was my first SNK fanfic. I hope you enjoy...  
> (here is a link to the one they wrote for me http://kattobingrunge.tumblr.com/post/70997989473/heres-comicalslayings-gift-for-secret-santa-all)


End file.
